Confidence. A word that many people either work on understanding, are not comfortable with the word or own that word day by day. I am so happy to say that I love how confident I have become over the past five years.
It was not a smooth boat ride that’s for sure, however, it was a ride filled with lessons and great experiences.
I wanted to talk about confidence because I definitely did not have it for a huge part of my life. I was bullied all throughout elementary school. My mom then switches me to another school once she found out about it. As you would think switching schools would make a difference, and yes it did in some ways but I still dealt with a lot of bullying and exclusion.
Then high school came around. Now for you can either be one of the two people; the person who loves high school and relive those moments in a heartbeat or the person that dreaded and didn’t see the point of the social settings and honestly couldn’t wait to graduate. At this point of years on earth, I was in between. I loved hanging out with the friends I did have and participating in shows for dance and talent shows, however, I didn’t like the ‘cliques’ and the drama that came with high school. Unforantlyey with things going on in my personal life and balancing social life and academics I went through depression and disconnected myself for the most part of the world.
Now high school was done, it was time for the next big step in life, university. I was so excited. A new group of people, studying what I want to study and yet did I know one of the most memorable times of my life. I was the girl that was involved in everything from a sorority to volunteering to even help out at the shelter. I loved socializing and continue to do it even now.
Before you know it, school was done and I was ready to tackle the world through my career endeavours. I was able to call my self a marketing manager and making more then enough money to live comfortably until I got sick. I had to step away from that job and to be honest it was really a blessing beacuse I probably would not be writing this piece right now. While I was sick I lost 15 pounds, depressed, extremly anxious and disconnected to family and friends. I was back in a dark place where I did not want to be.
I then had a day of an ephany ( check out my past post post to learn all about it). I was in a place that did not make me happy and that day I was tierd of it. I started working out as a stress release and to bost my confident with not only myself physically but mentally. People say working out is the best theropy and honestly it was the best theropy for me. Something I honestly don’t think I would have half the confidence I have today or even be here if it wasnt for the gym and running being my escape and into the light.
I can not stress enough, find something that you are proud to have and own. Use the confidence you have already to find confidence in the things you need to devopled in. Sometimes that slight bit of hope through that thing, place or thought can think of and remind your self daily to keep you going.